Were you ever told you were “too much”?

You learned to take up less space. 

It's showing up in your money.

Credit card debt. Lack of savings. Living paycheck to paycheck. Overspending.

You look at these things and think you have a money problem. But money problems are not just a struggle with the skill of how to money. They can also be a struggle with the underlying patterns you learned a long time ago that are still influencing how you behave today.

Let's look at your fear of rejection.

Were you ever told you were too much? Too loud, too emotional, too needy, too demanding? Did you learn that you needed to be a little more “palatable” so people would like you?

Maybe you learned not to ask for too much, not to need too much, or not to take up too much space. Maybe you learned to wait for people to come to you instead of risking putting yourself out there and hearing no.

And this is where it starts to connect to your money.

If rejection hurt, you learned ways to avoid rejection. You stayed quiet. You waited to be chosen. You didn't ask for too much. You made yourself easier to accept. You learned that those behaviors helped you feel safer.

Then you grew up.

Now you want to earn more money, but earning more requires you to do the exact things you learned not to do.

You have to ask.

You have to be seen.

You have to take up space.

You have to tell someone what you want.

You have to risk hearing no.

So what happens when the little girl who learned “don't be too much” needs to ask for a raise? What happens when the woman who learned to wait to be chosen needs to go after a better-paying job? What happens when the business owner who learned that being seen wasn't safe now needs to market herself?

You know you need to raise your prices, but you don't. You know you need to follow up, but you avoid it. You know you should negotiate, but you accept what's offered. You know you need to make the offer, but suddenly you find 47 other things that need to get done first.

And then you look at the result and call it a money problem.

I'm not earning enough.

My business isn't growing.

I'm living paycheck to paycheck.

I can't save enough.

But look at the whole chain.

You experienced rejection. You learned how to protect yourself from feeling it again. That protection became a pattern. The pattern followed you into adulthood. And now that same pattern is influencing the behaviors that create your financial results.

THAT is why money struggles are not always about the skill.

You can know exactly what you need to do with your money and still struggle to do it because knowing isn't necessarily the problem.

Maybe you need to understand why you can't do the thing that you know you need to do.

This is the part I think we miss so often with money. We judge the behavior. Why can't I stop spending? Why haven't I paid this debt off yet? Why can't I make more money? Why do I keep avoiding this? Why can't I just do the thing I KNOW I need to do?

Instead of judging it, what if you got curious?

Why does this behavior make sense? What are you protecting yourself from? What did you learn a long time ago that taught you to respond this way?

Because when you understand the pattern, something changes. You stop thinking, “What the hell is wrong with me?” and start thinking, “Ohhhhh. No wonder.”

And that understanding gives you clarity. You can finally see what is actually happening instead of fighting with yourself over the behavior.

Then you get to ask a different question: Now that I understand why I've been doing this, what do I want to choose instead?

This is why changing your money goes so much deeper than creating a budget and paying off credit card debt. Yes, you need the numbers. You need the budget. You need a plan. But if you keep knowing what you need to do and can't seem to actually DO it, you need to understand what's underneath it.

This is exactly the work we're doing right now inside my Financially Empowered community. We're looking at the patterns underneath your money, making them make sense, and then figuring out what you want to choose instead.

If you saw yourself anywhere in this email, come try it. Come understand the patterns that have been keeping you stuck and start breaking the cycle. If you've been doing money the same way for years and getting the same results, what do you have to lose by trying something different?

Use code EMPOWER50 for 50% off your first month. There's no long-term commitment. Come do the work with us and see what starts to change.

Disclaimer: I am an educator, not your personal financial advisor. Please make sure to do your own research before moving forward with any actions discussed in this blog post. 

Know that all investments involve some form of risk and there is no guarantee that you will be successful in making, saving, or investing money; nor is there any guarantee that you won't experience any loss when investing. Always remember to make smart decisions and do your own research!